sartre, j. p.

"A vast entity, a planet, in a space of a hundred million dimensions; three-dimensional beings could not so much as imagine it. And yet each dimension was an autonomous consciousness. Try to look directly at that planet, it would disintegrate into tiny fragments, and nothing but consciousnesses would be left. A hundred million free consciousnesses, each aware of walls, the glowing stump of a cigar, familiar faces, and each constructing its destiny on its own responsibility. And yet each of these consciousnesses, by imperceptible contacts and insensible changes, realizes its existence as a cell in a gigantic and invisible coral. War: everyone is free, and yet the die is cast. It is there, it is everywhere, it is the totality of all my thoughts, of all Hitler's words, of all Gomez's acts; but no one is there to add it up. It exists solely for God. But God does not exist. And yet the war exists."

- from Les Chemins de la liberte

brautigan, richard

i have been very slowly and gently rereading brautigan's trout fishing in america, wearing sunglasses out on my landing, often hungover, sometimes with a cigarette. i finished it today and miss it already. it is very beautiful and makes the world look more beautiful by proximity.

"There was a bowl of goldfish next to the bed, next to the gun. How religious and intimate the goldfish and the gun looked together.
They had a cat named 208. They covered the bathroom floor with newspaper and the cat crapped on the newspaper. My friend said that 208 thought he was the only cat left in the world, not having seen another cat since he was a tiny kitten. They never let him out of the room. He was a red cat and very aggressive. When you played with that cat, he really bit you. Stroke 208's fur and he'd try to disembowel your hand as if it were a belly stuffed full of extrasoft intestines."

- from "Room 208, Trout Fishing in America"

oliver, mary

someone is feeling a little sentimental lately.

"Wild Geese"
Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting —
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

bellow, saul

"People can lose their lives in libraries. They ought to be warned."

orwell, george

"The essence of being human is that one does not seek perfection,
that one is sometimes willing to commit sins for the sake of loyalty,
that one does not push asceticism to the point where it makes friendly
intercourse impossible, and that one is prepared in the end to be
defeated and broken up by life, which is the inevitable price of
fastening one's love upon other human individuals. No doubt alcohol,
tobacco, and so forth, are things that a saint must avoid, but sainthood is also a thing that human beings must avoid. There is an obvious retort to this, but one should be wary about making it. In this yogi-ridden age, it is too readily assumed that "non-attachment" is not only better than a full acceptance of earthly life, but that the ordinary man only rejects it because it is too difficult: in other words, that the average human being is a failed saint. It is doubtful whether this is true. Many people genuinely do not wish to be saints, and it is probable that some who achieve or aspire to sainthood have never felt much temptation to be human beings. If one could follow it to its psychological roots, one would, I believe, find that the main motive for "non-attachment" is a desire to escape from the pain of living, and above all from love, which, sexual or non-sexual, is hard work."

[g. orwell, "reflections on gandhi"]

cavell, stanley

"I am necessarily the owner of my pain, yet the fact that it is always located in my body is not necessary. This is what Wittgenstein wishes to show--that it is conceivable that I locate it in another's body. That this does not in fact, or literally, happen in our lives means that the fact of our separateness is something that I have to conceive, a task of imagination--that to know your pain I cannot locate it as I locate mine, but I must let it happen to me. My knowledge of you marks me; it is something that I experience, yet I am not present to it...My knowledge of myself is something I find, as on a successful quest; my knowledge of others, of their separateness from me, is something that finds me."

[s. cavell]

wittgenstein, ludwig

"Death is not an event in life: we do not live to experience death. If we take eternity to mean not infinite temporal duration but timelessness, then eternal life belongs to those who live in the present. Our life has no end in just the way in which our visual field has no limits."

[l. wittgenstein, tractatus logico-philosophicus]

roethke, theodore

"What’s madness but nobility of soul
At odds with circumstance?"

[from "In a Dark Time"]

foucault, michel

"Your question is: why am I so interested in politics? But if I were to answer you very simply, I would say this: Why shouldn't I be interested? That is to say, what blindness, what deafness, what density of ideology would have to weigh me down to prevent me from being interested in what is probably the most crucial subject to our existence.... The essence of our life consists, after all, in the political functioning of the society in which we find ourselves."

[m. foucault]

okay okay okay already. yes, i do still draw hearts next to foucault's name in my notebook.

poor pitta

avoid most Rajasic foods: coffee, garlic (!!!), onions, peppers, hot spices...also cigarettes and alcohol, of course.

also bad: sour fruit, bananas, beets, green olives, radish, tomatoes (!), turnips, corn, quinoa (!), rye, black and red lentils, nuts (!!!)...

so many spices!: asafoetida, basil (!!), bay leaf, cayenne, cloves, ginger (!), marjoram, mustard seeds, nutmeg, oregano, paprika, rosemary, sage, savory, tamarind, thyme...(this might be the most difficult part)...

why am i not a vata? they get to eat everything!

kafka, franz

"Oh to be a Red Indian, instantly prepared, and astride one's galloping mount, leaning into the wind, to skim with each fleeting quivering touch over the quivering ground, till one shed the spurs, for there were no spurs, till one flung off the reins, for there were no reins, and could barely see the land unfurl as a smooth-shorn heath before one, now that horse's neck and horse's head were gone."

[F. Kafka, "Longing to Be a Red Indian"]